Well this has been a 5-year road. A journey of self reflection, memory and empathy. Yes empathy. I suppose my mission was to try to let people know not only what it was like, but more about all the thoughts and experiences we went through. As a first time novelist, it was difficult. It definitely could be better – but it had to be released. From about 45 chapters and 160,000 words down to a re-engineered 100,000. But from aside from all the above, I really want the reader just to laugh at what I laughed at – mostly myself. LOL.
I suppose the first feeling of success is from spouses of colleagues: “I had know idea…you saw that for real?…I can appreciate the Afghan woman story…I don’t know how you endured that!” Vindicated — in that I guess I want people to talk; for those that want to anyway.
Already people are starting to share photos and stories. Help those that are lost in time gaps. Laugh at the humour, cry at the pain but march forward out of silly secret shadows.
There are 4 chapters that I have still failed at reading through without a tear falling. It seems silly, but the things you’d expect to be the most aloof too sometimes hit the deepest. I hope, even if it is for one sentence, that some of this reaches you in a helpful sense.
Anyway, I have to figure out what marketing means now. “Buy my book please.” đ
As I review and edit the book, I stumble through numerous contemplations. I thought I would share one….
…A few days had passed, and I tried to function. I was a stick in the family spokes of progress. They were functioning without me.
Yesterday, the important decisions were about life and deathâ identifying Taliban, evacuating dead and wounded, watching patrols, and responding to lethal ambushes. Now the important decisions of home life were to ensure the garbage was out and the kids werenât late for school. Ironically, equally important, one was for the prevention of death, the latter for the sustainment of orderly life.
In my last post, I was leaning to describe the irony between an extremely beautiful land and how such beauty and ruggedness can be poisoned by humanity.
As I flew through Afghanistan, I recollected thoughts of the Canadian Rockies any American Rocky Mountains that I have also flown through. As I experienced North America from the air over the years, I learned a respect for the history, prosperity and development: ski resorts, mining projects, vast farms and pipelines all cooperating in the development of prosperity, health, and society. I recall thinking the same things about Afghanistan, a land having so much potential. It has vast mineral wealth and potential to be a continental trading crossroads due to its location; this evident from the historic trade routes from Asia to Europe. It has the capability of running rail lines but doesn’t due to the lack of security â a shame. I saw great mountain ranges with beautiful villages below that would be so capable of building ski resorts and supporting eco-tourism. I saw vast plains with the flowers of lush fruits and vegetables. The grapes alone could rival the vineyards of the Sonoma Valley in California to the Okanagan Valley of British Columbia. And with all this potential, I can’t figure out why fear, hatred, sexism, and medieval law is allowed to prevail keeping these people and this potential suppressed. How do we, as an advanced Western civilization, convince these people that there is a much healthier, prosperous and socially beneficial ways to live? While maintaining religion and modifying fear and hatred, great benefits could come through collective efforts. But it remains a medieval wasteland – it is sad.  The great Greek, Mongolian,  Persian, Timur, British and Arabian empires have already proven prosperity in the Afghanistan area; it is possible. So why are they so stuck?
If it is a religious issue, then this is my 2 cents:
Whether you believe that Abraham and Isaac founded Judaism then Christianity in Israel or … Abraham and Ismail founded the Quran and Islam in Saudi Arabia, it doesn’t matter.
What is an agreed truth is that we all have Abraham as a religious forefather. We are all cousins.
Just because we can’t agree on what great uncle accomplished what doesn’t mean we have to be extremist and radical. During peace and common sense prevailing, both trees of this family have created great empires of prosperity, peace, artistic, technological  and social advancement. It’s time to move forward once again collectively.
Just a commentary on the current affairs of our world.
Now it is almost 2016 and society is faced with wide-spread propaganda promoting fear and violence in the name of attaining of peace and security. As I write this ISIS is growing, attacks against England, Los Angeles and Paris have occurred. Russia, France, Britain and America are in tense relations trying to establish suitable protocols in the diplomatic spider web over Turkey, Iran, Egypt, Israel and Crimea. China is establishing footholds in Africa and recently commissioned their first ever Aircraft carrier.
Yet despite this, Canada is still opening doors to the needy while some political leaders in the USA are promoting policies towards Muslims and Mexicans that are not much different from what we experienced during apartheid.
I often find my mind polarized with back room discussions. So I researched the ‘left, right , and middle’ wings of various thoughts. I don’t know what the answer is but I found some quotes that seemed worthy of remembering:
Quotes…
“I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.” Dwight Eisenhower.
âThe enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but it is really fear.â Gandhi
The Prophet Muhammad said: âReligion is very easy, and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded.â Bukhari:V1N38
âBut I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” Luke 6:27
It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. Â Buddha
And from the Art of War, Sun Tsu: “Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”Â
If you want total security, go to prison. There you are fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking…is freedom.  Dwight D. Eisenhower
Anyway, there’s my two cents for the day. I’m not smart enough to know the right course of action, but I’m experienced enough to now the effects of some.
At the end of my manuscript I have a reflection about wondering what it would be like to once again live in an environment which is childlike, naive, and having total confidence in your freedom and security and trusting that you could take it for granted. Wouldn’t it be wonderful?
The concept of the Mayan compass or flag and specific colours inspired me from the words of a Guatemalan mountain guide near the ruins of Copan. He said that the colours represented all the peoples of the world: whites in the north, reds in the south, yellow in the west, blacks in the east. And apparently the Mayan’s believed that world peace would never exist until all these colours became one.
Blog 12E. Senjeray PID RPGâŚthe busy day continues (Still Irish’s mission)
Sunrise in SenjeraySenjeray and the Canadian A.O.Green Zone near Senjeray
……âShakedown this is the FOB (Forward Operating Base Senjeray), wait out.â
âContact FAM (Fighting Aged male) with one times RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade) and AK47 (assault rifle).â Prof called excitedly over the radio. His helicopter closed in from the higher orbit onto the potentially lethal target. Was is a single RPG shooter? Where was his support team. There could be others in the immediate area with AK47s to join into the attack against the Chinook as it departed. Those insurgents would be deeper into the green zone a few hundred meters; covertly hiding and ready to attack. They usually ambushed in multiple teams from different locations all focusing their fires onto the airborne target. Like a fly into the spiderâs web, everywhere you turned there would be more havoc to get tangled into. Profâs crew would make himself vulnerable in order to defend the chinook. As we teamed into battle formation, we became much more lethal, accepting certain risks to get our gunners into optimum position to defend â or attack.
The FAM was now partially hidden from the FOB under some trees in a cut-out in the wall. His RPG could be seen moving but he didnât seemed to be aiming it. It went from over shoulder to under shoulder. Then held, then disappeared as he leered from behind the concrete hard, thick compound. The shape of the warhead on the tip occasionally emerging.
âIâm tracking him with my gunâŚif he pulls any shit, heâs done.â Snapshot called. âCan we get in lower?â
âRoger that, coming in behind Prof! Cover his ass and watch that green zone for support shooters!â I yelled over the intercom. I was concerned about what we couldn’t see. I then pressed my radio foot switch to talk to Prof on the radio. âProfessor you got him?â
âRoger, I got him.â Prof answered. His voice alert and focused. The target had bunker like walls all around him. It was an ideal place to shoot from and stay somewhat concealed.
âStandby, he is still not a legal target, I am coordinating through the FOB. It will be your shot, Iâm on high cover dropping into your trail.â I further answered. I looked out to the Chinook on the ground in the FOB. The last passengers were loaded. He would be lifting right into that ambush. I had to warn him.
âBlowtorch, this is Shakedown. Stay on the ground. Possible RPG threat to your south east.â I called to Butch. âMan with RPG about 250 meters on your nose in a compound.â
Prof interrupted with a report. âIâm in position to fireâŚ.He seems to be hiding behind the wall â He looks suspicious â spying.â
âCheck that, standby.â I answered. I had to get more intelligence. I hoped the FOB had a sniper also viewing. I may have to call him onto the target or smoke it to mark it. For identification â but time was fleeting.
âShakedown 25, this is Blowtorch. We are ready to lift. Holding position. Holding position.â Butchâs voice answered.
He wanted out. He had to stay for the time being. It became a time crunch from his perspective. The longer he sat there, the more likely he would draw indirect enemy mortar fire into the FOB. But if he departed right now, he could be flying into an ambush. The Chinook had enough power to depart the opposite direction â it was an option but because of the semi-overt presentation of the RPG holder, it could be a decoy trying to encourage the Chinook to fly into another direction for a possible ambush. All these defensive options racing through Butchâs mind â yet inevitably, if he delayed much longer, the mortars would definitely come.
âRoger that Butch. Standby. Weâre in firing position. FOB also investigatingâŚ.standby!â I cautioned him. I could feel his impatience. Everyoneâs vigilance was heightened. It could be felt and heard in the tone of voice. We reversed course, aggressively following Prof about 200 feet over the ground. The gunnerâs both intently scanning the RPG man and the surrounding wadi and compounds for any other unusual activity or persons with weapons. I looked over to the higher terrain to the northside of the FOB. It seemed normal, I hoped.
Both of our griffons were now ready at any moment to release weapons onto the target should he shoulder the RPG. The man with the RPG moved behind the wall, then in front. Was he trying to avoid our griffons? He held his RPG but not in a firing posture; yet. Snapshot was ready within a second. If the man shouldered and aimed the weapons towards the chinook, Snapshot was ready to open fire. Target was in his sites. He was ready.
âShakedowns, this is Senjeray. Do Nawt Fire! Do nawt fire! Heâs an ANA soldier! He is friendly!â An American accent announced over the radio. âThe son-of-a-bitch was layt for his guard duty thatâs why he was running and not properly dressed. Thatâs his normal position.â He continued.
âWholly shit! Check fire Snapshot.â I yelled over the intercom then replied on the radio: âRoger that âvisual friendly â visual friendly.â
âStand down Prof! Stand down gunners! ANA soldier – friendly. Resume normal orbit.â I advised.
âRoger itâs a friendly. Check that.â Prof answered to me. He was pissed off. He continued onto the other radio. âFOB Senjeray this is 26, you tell that son of a bitch he almost got his ass shot off â 26 Out!â
âRawger that Shakedown 26.â The American accent answered, âWe gawt this.â There would be a debrief to the ANA security team.
âCheck itâs friendly.â Snapshot stated and raised his gun level.
âOkay, We are outta here! Lifting in 15 seconds eastbound.â Butchâs voice announced in relief from his Chinook. He had had enough time sitting on the ground being a potential mortar magnet. The dust began to erupt around him as the Chinook started lifting. Our two griffons aggressively split apart and circled around to the flanks and rear of the departing heavy helicopter; protecting his flight path.
âWell that would have been a bit of paper work sir?â Zorg added sarcastically. He was proud of his calm, yet cheeky retort.
I looked at Irish and shook my head in disbelief. He looked relieved as he sank into his pillow seat about an inch. He let out a nervous chuckle towards me; laughing at me as my eyes were bigger than my head.
Our crew continued to laugh at the ridiculous intensity and bantered about the possible comical outcomes while finishing our morning escort missions.
ââŚAchmed has 50 holes in him. Why? He was late! The rest of you guards take note.â
ââŚGuards, how many times do I have to say, donât take your RPG home at night after work!â
It had been a long day. Six continuous flying hours since first starting, we finally walked into operations for our debriefing with Scrappy.
He looked at our frazzled team of Shakedown 25 Flight. It had been a few weeks since first arriving. In his opinion, we needed to maintain vigilance but also except the realities that existed here. Scrappy needed to put some perspective on it.
âSo in summary, you flew in a war zone, had the potential to get shot in a mortar attack, saw a medieval stoning that we were all briefed could be part of our experience here; and almost perforated an ANA soldier?â Scrappy sternly lectured our physically and emotionally drained crowd.
âYup, pretty much!â Professor stated matter of factly as he looked at me then spit chew tobacco in his cup.
âThis is my second time here. This is normal. And you did a good jobâŚyou didnât get killed and you didnât kill a good-guy.â Scrappy summed, paused, then curtly and left the room.
There was no discussion. No sympathy. Just an acceptance of the way life was in Afghanistan. All these events affected everyone. We can accept shooting, being shot at, mortars and rockets landing around usâŚbut the stoning? It affected everyone. Those people werenât even the threat but the act of stoning a young girl was deplorable. Or is it deplorable for me to judge the judgers? Some things just never sit right.
âWhy the fuck are we here if we canât help the innocent?â I heard Zorg quietly mention to Hawk. âAnd these are the people we are liberating from the Taliban?â
I looked over and saw Hawk shrug as he glanced at me. I was stoic. I got up to leave the room. I paused and looked back at the other seven.
âIrish! Your mission was well planned and the timings worked out flawlessly! Well, for awhile anyway.â I smiled. âGood job!â I stated in front of the team and departed. He was happy to be acknowledged but there were more significant things being processed in his mind than the exactness of a complex planning sheet.
In operations, Grumpyâs team had just come back from their mission towards Helmand Province. Helmand was one of the most brutal areas in Southern Afghanistan. The Brits were losing soldiers weekly just like the Canadians and Americans were losing people here in Panjwai. We had similar grim expressions on our faces.
âHowâd it go?â I asked recognizing a look of exhaustion on his face.
âLetâs see.â He looked up reflecting on his day. âCraters, TICS, burning vehicles, arguing with copilot, suicide bombers, TICS, medevacs, IEDs.â
âHuh. Pretty standard day I guess.â I said.
âI heard you saw a stoning. Itâs medieval times! I guess thatâs pretty normal for this place.â He summarized twisting his face. He held his arm up at a vertical angle about the elbow. He had enough bullshit for the day â not from his colleagues, but from the mission.
I nodded. âI heard you got called to a TIC?â I enquired.
âYup, but the Taliban put down their RPGs and picked up shovels by the time we got there.â Grumpy shook his head. âCanât kill a sand farmer can I?â
âSNAFU?â I asked.
âYup.â Grumpy smirked, turned and walked away. âSNAFU.â
(Situation Normal â All Fucked Up!)
So much shit happens in a day here, that it takes a long time to reflect, contemplate and try to organize it into something that makes sense; even if it isnât acceptable or understandable from a western cultural perspective. Some will never make sense of it and it will linger. Even as I write and edit this a dozen times over the past 4 years, new revelations still come to me.